I cracked...

I'm leaving in less than two days... so I'm kind of already there... right? RIGHT?

I just wanted to run you through the process from getting the "idea" that you might have what it takes to play on a cruise to buying shoes that have weird and funny names two days before you leave... this is MY experience, anyway.

It started on a cold day in February when I was driving home from work and I remembered my friend John talking about a friend of his who had been playing on a cruise for 4 or 5 years by that time. So I thought myself: "Maybe that's something I could/should try for a while".

The next time I met with John I told him about it and he said it was "...the best idea I've ever had" which isn't untrue (double negative, I know). So I started doing some research and ended up with 4 e-mail addresses, out of which I got 3 replies. I auditioned for 2 out of those but got offered a job for all 3. Weird, huh? One of the two I auditioned for is called ProShip Entertainment and they handle all the musical entertainment for the major cruise companies.

The audition I did for ProShip was brutal. Lots of complex, tempo-changing big band stuff and gazillion groove examples to play. But I "nailed it" so to speak and I was offered a job starting at the end of august.

That changed exactly a month ago. A representitive from Celebrity Cruises called me as I was on my way to a binge in Þorlákshöfn and asked if I could start on the 13th of July. I said yes, of course. Then he said "...we'll just pick you up in Rome" which still sounds hilarious to me. The weeks leading up to my departure have been quite busy.

They have included the following and more:

6 visits to see my doctor to complete the medical check up for the cruiseline (7 if you count the time I had get an x-ray taken of my lungs). This cost me a lot of money.

Answering questions like "are you a member of Al-Qaida, Hamas or any other organizations who are hostile towards the united states of America?" just to get a work permit in the U.S.A. ... believe me that's just the tip of the iceberg. Some questions I had a hard time understanding, like "Would you ever consider possibly thinking about maybe conspiring to perhaps to terrorize the U.S.A., and if so, how would you do it and who would get to do it with you?" This also cost me a lot of money.

That last one was a joke but the questions were really long and extremely vague about what
they really meant.

And then there was the clothes shopping. I had to buy a suit. I had to buy a pair of shiny leather dress shoes. I had to buy shoes that are called "top-siders"... what the "f" is that? And I had to buy a bunch of sticks because, appearantly they don't grow stick trees on board the ship. What a rip-off, huh? This also cost me a lot of money. I'm a poor bastard these days.

Well, that's it folks!

I hope to never ever write such a long post, unless it's my birthday and I'm drunk, in which case I won't stop writing till "I've got blisters on my fingers" -John Lennon.

Who's fo' coffee?

Ellert S Breiðfjörð Sigurðarson